Series Finale


Images Courtesy Wikipedia

It seems as if all my favorite shows are ending after this season. Both Breaking Bad and How I Met Your Mother are on their way to the final farewell. As an avid fan, where does this leave me? Better yet, what will the ending to these shows be? Will they make the last few years worth it? Will they leave me craving for more? Or will they leave me disappointed?

I am 75% through with, Silver, Book 3 of the Life Force Trilogy. Truthfully, I’ve been procrastinating on finishing the novel for a couple of months now. I’ve been sitting on it, shoving it away and focusing on other projects. Why? For a while I wanted a little break from Mattie’s world. Though I obviously love it, I felt I was too close to it and needed some time to clear my head to get a better grasp on how exactly I wanted to end my series. Just as I’m a bit apprehensive as to how my favorite shows will end, I am also apprehensive as to how I will end the series. Overall, I don’t want to leave my readers disappointed.

With every show you watch and every book you read, you devote yourself in some way or another. You begin to feel the story and you begin to relate to the characters. There’s nothing worse than the disappointment that your show or book did not have the ending you were looking for. You feel cheated and sometimes you even feel angered and depressed. I do not want to leave this sour taste in my readers’ mouths. I do not want them to walk away from the Life Force Trilogy feeling cheated and disappointed.

On top of this fear, I also am constantly bombarded with new ideas. Inspiration for other projects often come out of nowhere, further driving me away from doing what I should do – finish the trilogy. The excitement of penning a brand new story only further fuels my procrastination, which is so unlike a Type A personality like me. For example, just a night ago I dreamt up a premise for a new Dystopian novel. I am so excited about it and despite how busy I’ve been, I found the time to write the first chapter to the new book. However, as soon as I did so my mind wandered back to Silver. After all, Green began from a dream as well.

I will finish Silver soon. I owe it to my readers and I owe to myself. Moreover, I owe it to Mattie and Hunter. I want to tie their story up in a nice pink bow and know that I ended their story the best way I could. I will do it. I will do it sooner rather than later.



I don’t give up


Why would I want to publish a book traditionally that I had already self-published? Why am I seeking Literary Agents for a novel that is already on sale on Amazon?

Why? Why??? (Sorry, I have a habit of being over dramatic sometimes) I’ll tell you why! Since I was a young child I’ve always dreamt of having my books sitting on the shelves of my favorite bookstores. Whereas other children found joy in visiting the closest toy store, my solace came from walking into Walden Books or B. Dalton and sniffing (yes sniffing) the pages of a brand new book. I WANT to see my book sitting on the shelf of the closest Barnes and Noble or even Target (Gah, how i love that store!). And you know what? I WILL.

I want to go the traditional publishing route because it’ll give me more time to focus on writing as opposed to marketing, advertising, etc. Believe me, I already have enough of that to do at work 🙂

Honestly, I entered this business a bit naive. What was a query letter? Can’t I just be “discovered” on Amazon like a few of my other fave authors were? From what I read, today’s industry is so different than it used to be that Self-Publishing can help you, but now it can also hurt you. I guess I’m feeling the latter right now.

After two rejection letters so far, I am faced with a crossroad. Do I continue self-publishing the Life Force Trilogy and save my standalone adult novel for traditional publishing? Do I keep trying and hope that there is just one agent out there who might fall in love with Mattie as much as I did?

Well, I’ll tell you what. I’ve always worked effing hard for whatever I wanted. I sometimes find myself working to the point of tears. Like I said, I am a purely goal oriented person. I pour sweat, blood and tears into everything I do. That being said, I am a fighter. I won’t give up. I will find that one person who will represent me and once I do I plan to establish a great partnership with him/her and show the literary world what I am made of!

Sooooo, why share this bitter pill of rejection with you all? Because I want to show all of you that giving up isn’t always the best way to go. Sometimes you just need to keep on fighting until your goal is achieved.

I trust God. This is all in His timing and I trust that I will be led on the correct path for me.

That being said, I am human, so please excuse me while I drown myself in ice cream and listen to Adele 😉


Old Friends

Often, I know how I want a story to end before I even begin to write the beginning. I get a clear picture in my head and I develop the rest of the story around the ending. However, now that the Life Force Trilogy is coming to its completion I can’t help but hesitate a bit when it comes to writing the ending. Sure, I know how I basically want it to end, however a part of me wants it to go so much deeper. Perhaps it’s because I’m not ready to let go of Mattie yet. I’m not ready to say goodbye to someone who feels a bit like a friend now. Sure, it sounds weird, but I somewhat grew along with her character. Or, maybe it’s because I just want the ending to be so epic that even I’m flabbergasted by it. Who knows?